The Secret Life

DeerStalkerPictures brings us another hilarious (and some say true) video on Western Lolita culture. These are the geniuses that brought us Buy Mo' Brand and Shit Lolitas Say. Presented to us as a wildlife documentary - this video seeks to document the life of the average Lolita. From swimming through a bed of brand dresses to stalking after the post man - this is supposed to be stuff that us Lolitas can relate to.

Having said that....

I feel like I fail as a Lolita. 

I don't buy a lot of brand, and I certainly haven't filled my closet with it. I don't really have it out on display either - it just sits in the closet with the rest of my clothing.

I don't spend hours looking for Lolita items to purchase and to be honest, I don't really connect with any Lolita communities, local or otherwise. I prefer my friendships (the few that exist) to be based around something more substantial than clothing.

Definitely not a hoarder. I don't buy lots of useless crap and let it sit around my room. In fact, I'm such a minimalist that about twice a year I go through my room with a garbage bag and a box, determining what is trash and what can be shipped off to charity.

I don't think I've ever actually sat and waited for a delivery. Usually I forget all about it until I get a post slip in the mail and then when I find time to get to the office, I pick it up.

Even if DeerStalker did a Gothic Lolita version of this, I'm sure I'd still fail pretty hardcore.

I know, I know, this is supposed to sartorial in nature, but I still feel like it represents what the ideal Lolita is supposed to be like. She's supposed to be cute, wear a lot of well-known brands in popular prints, have several different wigs, and attend meetups when not shopping for more brand and (politely) snarking on other girls over the internet.

It's not a pretty image, but I think it sums up the average fairly well. And I don't fit in it at all - same with lots of other girls I imagine.

I have short hair. I rarely wear petticoats with my dresses. I hate tea party shoes. I will never spend more than $100 on any single item, ever. I don't attend meetups. I'm a terrible Lolita.

What gives me comfort is that I'm not the only one. And that's okay, because it means I have much more freedom to define myself outside of it. I'm not just a girl that wears frilly dresses once in a while. I exist outside of that - I'm a student, a writer, a girlfriend, a daughter, a sister, a human being, etc.

What's underneath the veneer of Lolita, now that's the real secret life. Isn't it?


  1. YES.

    I found the video amusing, to be sure, but it is a simplistic view of what Lolita is. Honestly, if it came down to a choice of books or frills, I'd pick books any day. And, while I would love to get more involved in the community, that's as much because I'd like to meet more people in general.

  2. That is a bit how I feel. I like Gothic Lolita because I love all things Victorian and frilly and capey, and sort of Gothic, but I don't always wear a petti, if I am just going out, I worry a bit about being called an ita for doing things wrong. I don't like rules, I like to do things my way! :P I want to only get pieces I can wear with any outfit, like my white blouses, since I wear white Vintagey looking blouses all the time, and skirts, which I can wear with anything! I think I generally more use Lolita inspiration in my style than try to do a perfect Lolita look.