There are, remarkably enough, some very self-centered people out there in the great wide world. Especially when it comes to our particular fashion and the rules that more or less define it. You see, some people (who probably weren't even born when the fashion took root) seem to think that they have enough authority to be able to dictate what others should and shouldn't wear or what should be allowed in Lolita.
1.) Yes, Lolita is INSPIRED by eras like the Victorian English and Rococo France. Key word, here - inspired. No, people back then did not wear rectangular headdresses, fluffy short petticoats, and rarely bared their arms or lower legs for that matter. And by the way, Rococo was quite decadent, much of their artwork is of a sexual nature and they had no issue at all with baring cleavage. Lolita is typically modest, sure, but exactly who's strict fashion rules are we following here? The English or the French? Come on....give it up. This is silly. We're inspired and thus evolving.
2.) No, you didn't. You got hit on by a creeper or a perv. Pedophiles don't like grown women wearing fluffy dresses. They like actual children. And yes, they can tell the difference.
3.) This brings up a rather important question that nobody seems to really be asking anymore. Is Lolita meant to be elegant or is it meant to be cute? Does that differ depending on the subgenre and does it apply across the board. Something to chew on, hmmm? And I don't mean the cupcakes.
4.) Honestly, I didn't know this was coming from Lolitas in Japan, but I suppose it makes sense. Their fashion is slowly dwindling in popularity and becoming even more obscure in daily life. I suppose they want to hold onto it. Still....why are they trying to look so "western" if it's a style that only looks good on Japanese? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose?
5.) Yes, well, I think if you have a shit personality then YOU look ugly no matter what you wear. Just saying.
I know, I know....I should just stay off sites like Lolita Confessions, Behind-The-Bows, and such if I can't seem to resist answering some of these confessions on my personal blog. But even though I'm not part of a community and I don't have many Lolita friends, I still think it's important to keep up with what people are doing, saying, and thinking about the style.
Because these are real issues. Sometimes it's so bad for people that they develop eating disorders and poor body image simply because of clothes and the standards other people think you have to measure up to in order to wear them. It's pretty rotten actually.
Wear what you like! It doesn't matter if someone else doesn't like that color, cut, or style on you. You're not dressing for them. You dress for you. If you don't fit into brand, it's not the end of the world. There are a TON of other options and they're just as Lolita as the coveted (and often over-rated) brand. Indie shops, Bodyline, thrifting, and handmade are all perfectly good in Lolita. Dress for yourself, dress for your budget and stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
That girl may own all of your dream dresses, but chances are high she's a real bitch with no friends and you wouldn't want to be her anyways. If her personality is ugly, then she'll always look bad. But if you stay true to yourself and dress to make yourself happy, then you'll always be beautiful. It sounds cliche, but it's true.
I was seriously considering a MASSIVE bout of diet and exercise just so I could fit my D-cup boobs into a Moitie dress. It's not worth ruining your health and life over. It's just clothes. I've come to realize that even if I can't fit into that dress, ever, I can keep it hanging around in good condition and sell it later on to buy something that WILL fit me and look amazing.
So hang in there!